The nothingness of it all

I don’t understand the parameters.

I get that we’re undefined and unencumbered by expectation.
But I still don’t understand what’s acceptable.
Or is my challenge with accepting rather than understanding?
I’m battling to accept the lose nature of the situation? The nothingness of it all.
Perhaps the situation in beyond my comprehension.
Not wired for this kind of weird.
I don’t know the rules! And you laugh, because there aren’t any rules.
I should be mature enough to play competently
But I’m telling you that I can’t!
Laugh if you want.
Heck, go find someone else to play with and let me get over my humiliation.