Buddha said

I model his marking. Deep purple thumbprints on the inside of each thigh. For someone to take you with such force must mean that they want you with some intensity. And that's all I want really. To be wanted. Really wanted. Buddha said that all suffering is caused by desire. My desire to be desired has left me bruise n bleeding. How can something be both so terrible and wonderful at the same time?

Loose thoughts

Like the loose change in the consol of a car, so loose and un-useful are my thoughts. Random I suppose would be the word. 

While working on a school assignment with my seven year old this evening, he said to me that that he would like to be a scientist. I was impressed. I asked what kind of scientist he would be and what he would do? He's response was that he would like to find a cure for pimples. I have annoying and stubborn adult acne. I suppose my face has inspired my son. 
I once read "it's hard to face the problem when your face is the problem".

That got me thinking. If I didn't have these acne scars would I be pretty?

I also found myself wondering about that evolutionary theory today while watching my "own people" bid farewell to loved ones leaving for hajj. I wondered if some of my species, specifically of my own community are as evolved as we like to believe. Their irrational and emotional behaviour ... well ... I could see why it's thought that man came from monkey. The dumb animal is still in some of us. 

And then husbands. They don't make husbands like they used to. Where are the men who could DIY? Guys who could shut off the water at the stop cork when a pipe bursts. Not run for the phone to call their fathers in law while the place flooded. 

These days husbands think DIY means downloading an app on your phone by yourself. 

Random ... I know. 

A is for ...

Today I had lunch by myself. When sitting alone I think about the strangest things. Like in the Garden of Eden, where Adam and Eve had all sorts of everything to choose from, they chose an apple. An Apple. Really? 

Ok, yes I get it's all metaphorical. But why could they not have chosen an avocado for instance. An avo is far more sustaining. Far more exciting than a boring apple. To think we got thrown out of paradise for an apple. 

Guess what I'm having for lunch? I'll give you a clue, it ain't an apple. 

A second opinion

I need your opinion. 

You know sometimes people look at things from different angles and see different pictures? Very different perspectives. 

So tell me what you see. 

Scene one:
She waits for her husband for hours in the cold. Eventually she sees him coming round the bend. She grabs the hands of her little kids, excited to show them their dad finishing his marathon. But less than an hour later, her husband turns to tell her something but calls her by another woman's name. 

He claims he'd been thinking of his cousin who's birthday it was. But she knows that it's coincidentally also the name of a woman he works with. 

Scene two:
She wakes up to hear him laughing on the phone. She hears him ask the person on the line if they needed a hair dryer. He insists it's no bother and that he'll bring a hair dryer. Moments later he leaves for work, taking with him his wife's hair dryer. 

She asked him that night who the hairdryer was for. He honestly replied that it was for the colleague mentioned above. 


Scene three:
She works herself to the bone, fighting a losing battle to maintain order in their house while the domestic is away. He barely notices because he barely looks up from his cell phone or which ever game he plays on his laptop. 

Scene four:
While he's out she quickly tries to tidy the house. While picking up laundry on his side of the bed she finds the backing of a silver earring.  Not like any she or her daughter owns. Who's could it be? How'd it end up on the floor beside their bed?



Tell me what you see. Are we watching a movie of an idiot wife who refuses to see the facts? Or is it just a string of random events that actually mean nothing?